Friday, February 20, 2009

Chained Heat

It doesn't matter where we house al Qaeda prisoners. Human rights ninnies will complain wherever we put the poor darlings long after Guantanamo Bay is closed--if it is closed. The International Left believes we mistreat the prisoners and nothing will change their minds. They need us to be evil and we will be as far as they are concerned. President Obama is a minor obstacle in this mission, notwithstanding prior complaints about Bush.

How can I be so sure? Because Guantanamo Bay is hardly a charnel house no matter what the International Left claims. The prisoners are treated far better than they deserve:

Military officials are vigorously defending their treatment of detainees at the controversial terror prison camp here, rejecting charges by the prisoners and their lawyers that conditions are harsh, illegal, and inhumane.

"There isn't anything we do here that I wouldn't be proud to show my mom or my kids," said Rear Adm. David Thomas, commander of the task force that runs the detention camp.

"The conditions of detention are safe and humane," he said in an interview.


But the Left continues to complain anyway. Their complaints? Here's one:

Lawyers for detainees charge that their clients are being held in severe isolation with little opportunity for meaningful socialization.


Horrors! Little opportunity for meaningful socialization? The fiends!

Hmm. Although come to think of it, given my work and family responsibilities, that sounds kind of like my personal life.

I'm sure there is worse:

They say some detainees live in constant fear of aggressive guards organized as quick strike teams.


So if prisoners riot or throw feces at guards bringing them Korans and rice pilaf, lots of armed guards will react and swarm them to put down the little insurrection?

I say the lawyers are right! No more swarming to subdue them alive with minimal injuries! How do the jihadis even manage little riots with such fear instilled? I say just use a couple guards with shotguns and grenades to end the disturbances without the fear that all those guards inspire in the poor misguided poet-prisoners by swarming them in quick strike teams.

Surely there is more to complain about, right? Well sure:

And they charge that the 40 detainees currently engaged in a hunger strike are being strapped – feet, legs, and head – to restraint chairs and left for excessive periods of time as part of military-ordered forced feedings.


We force-feed hunger strikers to keep them alive? Now my blood is boiling. I say let them die of starvation. Better yet, rather than let them suffer by starvation, I suggest we shoot any who are mildly hungry as a sign of compassion. If the lads want to off themselves, I say who are we to stand in their way? I'm culturally sensitive like that.

Face it, the human rights industry won't be happy until we release these thugs in Manhattan with a new suit, a fashionable bomb vest, a full body shave, and a tourist map of major landmarks.

UPDATE: The Pentagon reports to the president that Guantanamo Bay is in fact a prison:

A Pentagon report requested by President Obama on the conditions at the Guantánamo Bay detention center concluded that the prison complies with the humane-treatment requirements of the Geneva Conventions. But it makes recommendations for improvements including increasing human contact for the prisoners, according to two government officials who have read parts of it.


You mean repeated contact with human rights activists and Leftist attorneys isn't adequate human contact for the prisoners? Ok, I'll give ground on that.