Friday, January 28, 2011

Reporting For Doodie

Incomprehensibly, Senator John Kerry (D.- Who Served in Vietnam) thinks people care about his opinion on Egypt. He said:

In the case of Egypt, President Mubarak has the opportunity to quell the unrest by guaranteeing that a free and open democratic process will be in place when the time comes to choose the country's next leader later this year.

The senator's call for democracy promotion in Egypt was tempered by his staff's warning that reporters should carefully review the footnotes to the statement. One, should the struggle drag on and not result in a happy, Vermont-style democracy complete with spirited bike path debates, then the senator reserves his right to claim we were lied into supporting effective regime change. Impeachment proceedings for the president who called for free and open democratic process, under those circumstances, would clearly be in order to combat such a sign of disturbing NeoCon influence in the administration that insisted that there were Warnings of Mediavel Despotism in Egypt.

Should things turn out badly, the intern added, the senator will be the first to call for Congressional hearings on the matter of the missing WMD. Further, a blue ribbon commission might want to suggest ways that Egypt could be split into three separate entities to minimize chances of further violence.

But other than those posterior-covering caveats, Senator Kerry remains firmly committed to regime change and democracy promotion in Egypt.

I honestly value Pauly Shore's opinion of events in Egypt more than Kerry's.